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Prophecy #1
Robot in Distress
Enough with the digression and back to the story.

When he turned 18 his parents were starting to worry, that he did not show any interest in getting a wife. He would always say: "Allah will take care of that for me." What he actually meant was that he didn't think he would be on Earth much longer and a wife would only get in the way of his purpose. He wasn't sure what that exact purpose was, but like the mullah kept telling him, he was ready and willing to do his part in throwing the Izrailis into the sea, so they can all swim back to whatever countries they all came from. It didn't occur to him that some Izrailis might be too young to swim, after all this was a Jihad commanded by Allah (well, that's what the mullah said) and little details like that would be cared for through the mercy, the power, the greatness and the wisdom of Allah. Besides, they were all unbelievers, so what difference did it make anyway?
Another note on the wife subject: he was thoroughly prepared to await his promised 72 virgins and on a selfish level (that he was somewhat ashamed of) he was actually saving himself for that sublime bliss. After all, how could any mortal female compare to the heavenly virgins provided by Allah himself? No chance!

It was less than 6 months later that his mission was revealed to him. In the time honored tradition of Palestinian martyrdom, he followed the protocol of videotaping his legacy to prosperity and to his friends and family (when visiting the Middle East, you should pick up a couple of these videos - look for the ones with subtitles - they're hilarious, or tragically ridiculous, depends on your interpretation.) So, anyway, he just mouthed the usual diatribes against American Imperialism, Worldwide Zionism, Izrail's usurpation of the land of his forefathers, etc. On a private note, he urged his parents to use the money they were going to receive as a blessing for his sacrifice, to rebuild their home which was seriously damaged (by the Israelis) in some skirmish or such. As a last note he assured his sainted mother that Allah will indeed provide him with 72 virgin women, so she need not worry about those things anymore.

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